Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.
Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half time.
Lets face it, there are a lot of dumb people out there. Sometimes you want to express how stupid they really are and here's how... An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. As smart as bait. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor. Forgot to pay his brain bill. His belt doesn't go through all the loops. If he had another brain, it would be lonely. Missing a few buttons on his remote control. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. Receiver is off the hook. Surfing in Nebraska. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a casserole. The cheese slid off his cracker. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear. Couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.
Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions!