Why do jocks play on artificial turf? To keep them from grazing.
How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't stop to ask directions!
Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
How are men like chocolates? A.They never last long enough B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.