Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box. She opened it, slammed it shut, and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house and again went to the mail box and again opened it, then slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying, “YOU’VE GOT MAIL!”
Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A. Both of them.