What usually happens when a man puts his best foot forward? It ends up in his mouth.
Q. What's the difference between men and government bonds? A. Bonds mature.
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
How does a man show he's planning for the Future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.