Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed?
A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Vote:
10 things men don't say
1)Let's watch Lifetime.
2)Sex is overrated.
3)I don't want to go too far on the first date.
4)Yes, your sister does have bigger breasts than you.
5)Don't we owe your mother a visit?
6)I'm relieved I don't have a large penis weighing me down.
7)Dessert goes right to my hips.
8)I hate when I miss Oprah.
9)Does this suit make me look fat?
10)I'll never get tired of listening to Dido.
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Did you hear about the man who got a vasectomy at Sears?
Now every time he gets excited, the garage door goes up.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly.
After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says
"If my proof falls then I rome through the halls."
Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob.
The man is confused and says "what are you doing?"
She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some."
The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did.
Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good.
The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping
"Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch."
Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?"
She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A.A dog is always happy to see you
B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.