Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
I don't know, I've never seen either one.
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
How do men define a "50/50" relationship?
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
One spelling mistake can destroy your life!
A husband wrote a message to his wife on his official trip and forgot to add 'e' at the end of a word:
"I am having such a wonderful time! Wish you were her..!"
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?
So they can find their way back to the house.
Men are like.....Department Stores.
Their clothes should always be half off.