Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
Vote:
Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair.
The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro.
So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro?
She said yes, so I was glad.
Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.
A mink in the wardrobe often leads to a wolf at the door.
OK, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
Q: Why did the Asian cross the road?
A: Because he had no car!
So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner
"Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom."
The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob.
So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis.
So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once?
A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
Yo mama so stupid when she pays her bills she gives pennies to her cash.
If you want to know God’s opinion of money just look at the people He gave it to.