The best things in life are free, plus tax.
He was so mean that when he found a pack of corn plasters he went out and bought a pair of tight shoes.
Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy? If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box.
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
‘Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.’ Rita Rudner
She was so rich she even had monograms on the bags under her eyes.
If Asda is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the shop free yet?
Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.