The best money jokes

We were so poor the only way I could afford to get my suit pressed was to ride the subway during rush hour.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
He was so mean he used to give his children £1 each instead of an evening meal, then charged them £2 for breakfast.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
They say about money that you can’t take it with you. I can’t even afford to go.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club. ‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one. ‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"
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has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: money
A mink in the wardrobe often leads to a wolf at the door.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
Getting money out of my father was like taking candy from a baby. He used to scream and cry like hell.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: college, dad, money
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
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has 39.62 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dating, kids, money, sex
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
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