Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once?
A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
Vote:
Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair.
The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro.
So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro?
She said yes, so I was glad.
Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.
Where to birds invest their money?
In the stork market!
A mink in the wardrobe often leads to a wolf at the door.
OK, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.
“Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied.
“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?”
“No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”
“So then?” asked the doctor.
“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.”
“So then?”
“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A. He wanted cold hard cash!
If you want to know God’s opinion of money just look at the people He gave it to.
Yo mama so stupid when she pays her bills she gives pennies to her cash.