The best money jokes

Did you hear about the cover-all insurance policy? If you bump your head, they pay you a lump sum.
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Where do bees keep their money? In a honey box.
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At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
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If George Washington were alive today, why couldn't he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac? Because a dollar doesn't go as far as it used to.
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‘Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.’ Rita Rudner
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She was so rich she even had monograms on the bags under her eyes.
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If Asda is lowering prices every day, why isn’t anything in the shop free yet?
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Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
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Harry’s so cheap, he didn’t buy his wife a pearl necklace, he got her a length of string and told her to start a collection.
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Money should be utilized as a tool. You just gotta know which nuts to screw.
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