The best money jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
A mink in the wardrobe often leads to a wolf at the door.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
Getting money out of my father was like taking candy from a baby. He used to scream and cry like hell.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: money
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. “How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her. “Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?” “No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.” “So then?” asked the doctor. “Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.” “So then?” “Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, money
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
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has 39.63 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, money, racist
What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? Money.
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has 39.62 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: money, women
If you want to know God’s opinion of money just look at the people He gave it to.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: divorce, marriage, money
Yo mama so stupid when she pays her bills she gives pennies to her cash.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money, stupid, Yo mama
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: holiday, money, wife
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