North America, few hundred years ago. An indian is sitting, smokes a pipe. Breathes in, breathes out. His son comes up to him: Daddy, I have a question Well, what is it? Why do we have such long names? Yankees, for example, have much shorter ones - John, Simon, Nicolas and similar. Our names come from nature. When your mother was born, there was a wonderful dew, so that is why she is called Fresh Dew. When your sister was born, there was a brilliant sunset. So that why she got the name Red Sunset. So, do you have any more questions, Fucking Bison?
A housewife buys a parrot to keep her company during the day. The clerk warns that the parrot was donated by a brothel, where he may have picked up some colorful language. The housewife doesn't mind and brings the parrot home. When she uncovers the cage, the parrot says, "Brawkk! New Madam. Hello Madam." When her three daughters come home from school, the parrot says, "Brawkk! New Girls. Hello Girls." Finally, her husband, Phil, comes home from work, just in time for dinner. When he walks past the parrot, the parrot says, "Brawkk! Hi Phil!"
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Q: You know what would make America great again? A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous? Get back! I have no idea how big it grows!
Q: Whats faster than a black person with a TV? A: His brother with a VCR.
Q: Why did the cat sleep with a fan on? A: He wanted to be a cool cat.
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Knock knock? Who's there? Hitler! Hitler who? You Know, the man who kills jews.
Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.