Best jokes ever

A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
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More jokes about: dirty
Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
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More jokes about: sex
What is the difference between a blonde and a pothole? You swerve to miss a pothole!
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More jokes about: blonde
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote: has 43.40 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
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More jokes about: sex
Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
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More jokes about: black humor
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.
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More jokes about: death, husband, women
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
Vote: has 43.39 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, driving, kids, sex
You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. '
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More jokes about: life
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
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More jokes about: animal