Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
Q: What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard? A: Shoot him again.
Q: Why did God create women? A: He took one look at men and said, "I know I can do better than this."
Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir, you miss the ball much closer now."
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
What was so bad about being a black Jew? You had to sit in the back of the oven.
James Bond got this email from a friend: CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark? Father: I think so. What do you want me to write? Ramu: Your name on this report card.
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.
A man is on his deathbed. ‘Grant me one last wish, my dear,’ he gasps pitifully to his wife. ‘Six months after I die I want you to marry Joe.’ ‘But I thought you hated Joe,’ says his wife. ‘I do,’ says the man.