What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k? A joystick does its job.
"Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you done anything yet?" "Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?
Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family? A: The Sole inbred.
Well, you know what they say: unlucky in love, get the clap.
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: “Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing. ” Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: “Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class.”
Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.