Q: Why can't gays drive faster than 68mph? A: Because at 69 they blow a rod.
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Chuck Norris doesn't tie shoelaces, he wins them.
Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar? A: A jar of mayonnaise.
A black guy was walking naked on the beach at the nudists. He's got tattooed on his dick his wife's name WENDY. Suddenly he sees a white guy with something written on his dick and asks him: You have written your wife name too? No, I'm responsible for the tourists. So when my dick is on erection it reads:"WELCOME TO MIAMI BEACH. HAVE A NICE DAY!"
Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were atop a 5 story building when a genie appeared and told them to run to the edge, jump off, and name anything they want to become. the brunette ran, jumped off, and said butterfly, the redhead ran jumped and said eagle, the blonde ran tripped over the edge and said "ah shit!"
Chuck Norris jokes are a oxymoron because Chuck Norris isn't a joke.
Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No, you should do it on a computer.
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.