Best jokes ever

They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The travelin' Texan picked up a sweet young thang in a bar and after several rounds, ordered the biggest steaks they had. Later, they retired to his room, naturally the largest in the hotel. As they undressed, he said, "I'm from Fort Worth, Texas, and we have the biggest of everything." The girl only nodded and smiled. As they began to make love, he exclaimed, "Golleeeee, lil' Lady! What part of Texas y'all from?"
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bar, love, racist
Q: Why are pubic hairs curly? A: So you don't poke your eye out.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day. They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs. Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one. They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him. They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do. So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing. They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do. Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, dog, love
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10. And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10". The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: family, math, memory, teacher
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, geography, music
Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, sport
A: "What is your biggest fear?" B: "Being forgotten, what's yours?" B: "Hello" B: "?"
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication
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