Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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When Chuck Norris talks, people listen.
When he doesn't, people still listen.
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Chuck Norris walked into a bar.
"OUCH!" said the bar.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Chuck Norris DNA is classified.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a will.
Invincible people don't need them.
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Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
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Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
A husband is driving with her blonde wife, the husband says "Can you stick your head out the window if the blinker works?" T
hen the blonde sticks her head out the window and replies, "Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..".
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Chuck Norris can get up to level 40 in Fallout 3.
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