"I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped.
Chuck Norris can get up to level 40 in Fallout 3.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
Q: In which room we cannot live? A: Mushroom.
What's grosser than gross? Ten babies in one mail box. What's grosser than that? One baby in ten mailboxes. What's grosser than that? Biting into a pickle and finding a vein. What's grosser than that? A cheerleader doing a split and sticking to the floor. What's grosser than that? A girl thinking she has crabs only to find it's fruit flies because her cherry rotted.
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
Yo mamma is stupid she bought tickets to Flo ridas concert but instead she went to Florida.