Chuck Norris once spent a month in El Paso one night.
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Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?
Vitamin bills!
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Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
Chinese and American are in a plane.
Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry.
After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it.
While he's gone, American spits into his shoes.
Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke.
That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry."
Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump.
"Well, go in the bushes."
"What should I use to wipe my ass?"
"Use a dollar bill."
A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands.
"What happened?" asks his friend.
"I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
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