Best jokes ever

There's a blonde. She enters a laughing contest. There's 10 levels to the contest. She gets to the 9th level and bursts into laughter. The host asks her "Why did you laugh, you could have won." The blonde reply's, "I finally got the first joke."
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food? A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: food, parrot, pirate
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, friendship, marriage, wife
Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
I never married because there was no need – I have three pets which serve the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day. They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs. Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one. They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him. They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do. So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing. They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do. Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, dog, love
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
Vote:
has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
<<<1019102010211022
More jokes →
Page 1019 of 1427.