Ones the bus was full of people.
A man looks at a lovely girl, she looks at him, he smiled, she did so, he told her get off at the next station, she did, he took her place.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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3 bums were outside a bar.
The first one went in and asked for a fork.
The second one went in and also asked for a fork.
Then the third one went in and wanted a straw.
At this point, the bartender became curious.
"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"
"Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
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Bob: "Hey, Sue, why is there a tampon hanging out of your mouth?"
Sue: "Oh my God. What did I do with my cigarette?"
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
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Chuck Norris can breath out with his nose and breath in with his mouth at the same time.
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Chuck Norris went up Niagra Falls in a barrel.
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Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
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