Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever... I wonder where shes going ?
Do you squat here often?
What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand.
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Yo mama so ugly, they use her picture to scare kids straight.
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop. J(ohnny):I want a pistol S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols) J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this, S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose? J: For shooting cans. S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one. J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one. S: And what cans will you shoot at? J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
Yo mama so fat you cant tell if she got a penis or a vagina.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off the cliff? Tequila