Yo' Mama is like a heavyweight boxer: a few licks, a few blows, and she's back to her corner.
A man walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the guy started to leave.
"Excuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what the guy had done.
"What was that all about?"
"Nothing", said the guy, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."
Yo mama so stupid she tried to make an appointment with Dr.pepper.
From tomorrow you are free!
The lawyer informs his client.
Yes, I’m so happy, I have nothing to say, grumbled the prisoner.
I torment myself for 5 years to make a rope ladder, 3 years to rasp the cage bars and you come now with the amnesty ordinance, exactly now when I wanted to break free...
A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job...
He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.
He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, "You are the reason I don't have a wife", second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children", third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job".
He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer.
He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says "Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved".
Yo mama so skinny...
She turned sideways and dissapeared
What do you call a smart blonde?
There is only two simple little words to describe this joke and that is: A miracle
Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.
Vote:
If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you?
Of course you would.
Vote:
Chuck Norris' feet are so fast, he can kick you in the past.
Vote: