Best jokes ever

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis." The blond yelled at the doctor... "A cute appendicitis! I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"
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More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
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More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life
There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him. Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what was wrong. The head nurse replied, ''We don't know what to do with this baby.'' So the chief surgeon took one look and said, "You should put him into a mental institution." ''Why?' asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
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More jokes about: kids
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, time
Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife’s beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, asher voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I’ve got a confession to make before I go... I... I’m the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I’m afraid I also was theone who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..." "That’s all right dearest; don’t even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I’m the one who poisoned you."
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More jokes about: death, hospital, marriage, money, wife
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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More jokes about: animal, customer service
Chuck Norris's e-mail adress is [email protected]
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, internet, IT
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
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More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
Q: What kind of doctor does a duck visit? A: A Ducktor.
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More jokes about: doctor, duck