When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
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Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know.
I didn’t think sheep could knit!
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal."
Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit."
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.
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Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow.
The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold.
So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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