Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
Vote:
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through.
The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?"
The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
Vote:
Why is it so hot in a stadium after a football game?
Because all the fans have left.
Q: What did Data find when he went into the bathroom stall?
A: Captain's log.
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
Vote:
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
Vote:
Why is marriage a three-ring circus?
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
Husband to wife: ‘Put your coat on, I’m going to the pub.’
Wife: ‘Oh that’s nice, are you taking me for a drink?’
Husband: ‘No, I’m turning the heating off.’
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know.
I didn’t think sheep could knit!
