The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home.
“The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the
father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn’t the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know.
I didn’t think sheep could knit!
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?"
A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
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In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions".
He has no time for losers.
He will rock you.
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Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow.
The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold.
So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
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In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
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Q: Why are there prairies?
A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.
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