When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow. The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold. So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
Q: Why are there prairies? A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.