The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. “The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn’t the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!
Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy. "There were no survivors."
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
In reality, only Chuck Norris is allowed to sing "We are the Champions". He has no time for losers. He will rock you.
Chuck Norris found the end of a rainbow. The leprachuan said he couldn't have the gold. So he roundhouse kicked him in the face.
Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
Q: Why are there prairies? A: Because Chuck Norris scared the trees away.