Most tough men eat nails for breakfast.
Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
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A wife tells her husband:
"We never go out anywhere…"
"Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me…"
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
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What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer?
He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
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Yo mama is so fat that it's still printing her picture she took during her last Christmas.
Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
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They say terror?
Look at Chuck.
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A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
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The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris.
The whole universe goes to hell.
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