When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
Vote:
Why is marriage a three-ring circus?
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
Husband to wife: ‘Put your coat on, I’m going to the pub.’
Wife: ‘Oh that’s nice, are you taking me for a drink?’
Husband: ‘No, I’m turning the heating off.’
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person.
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
Q: How does Jesus celebrate Easter?
A: He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.
What do you call 1/4 of the black population on the moon?
problem
what do you call 1/2 of the black population on the moon?
problem
what do you call 3/4 of the black population on the moon?
problem
what do you call all of the blacks on the moon?
PROBLEM SOLVED!
Vote:
North America, few hundred years ago.
An indian is sitting, smokes a pipe.
Breathes in, breathes out.
His son comes up to him:
Daddy, I have a question
Well, what is it?
Why do we have such long names?
Yankees, for example, have much shorter ones - John, Simon, Nicolas and similar.
Our names come from nature.
When your mother was born, there was a wonderful dew, so that is why she is called Fresh Dew.
When your sister was born, there was a brilliant sunset.
So that why she got the name Red Sunset.
So, do you have any more questions, Fucking Bison?
Q: What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?
A: "First, YULE LOGon"!