Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
Vote:
Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?
A: I don’t know.
I didn’t think sheep could knit!
What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person.
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?"
"No, of course not.
Now shut up and comb your face."
Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
Vote:
Why is marriage a three-ring circus?
First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering.
Husband to wife: ‘Put your coat on, I’m going to the pub.’
Wife: ‘Oh that’s nice, are you taking me for a drink?’
Husband: ‘No, I’m turning the heating off.’