Yo momma so ugly that she made all her blind kids cry.
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Yo Mamma so fat I took a picture of her last month, and it's still printing.
The world ends on December 21st, 2012. Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
There’s one good thing about life. It’s only temporary.
Wife complains husband, "When I'm crossing the dark forest when I'm comming back home I'm scared that someone will rape me." "Don't worry" answers husband, "you wouldn't be so lucky..."
Yo mama so stupid that when I was drowning I yelled out to her that I needed a life saver and she said "Cherry or grape?"
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before? Deja phew.
A woman called the Colorado State Division of Wildlife regarding a snake in her backyard. "Can you tell me what kind it is?" she asked. "Can you describe it?" I asked. "Yes," she said. "It's long and thin."