When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head. Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.