When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack. His heart is too smart to not attack him.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.