When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
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Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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Chuck Norris haunts ghosts.
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The Godfather once came to Chuck Norris and asked for a favor.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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