Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car.
Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"
"Why sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially well for that."
A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice.
"No, no! A little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.
A blonde was so proud of herself because she finished a jigsaw in 6 months and the cover said 2-4 years!
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian.
"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.
"How do I do that?" he asked.
"Carefully," replied the vet.
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
Yo momma’s so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet.
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
Yo mama is so stupid she was the reason the walking dead was made.
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland.
The sing said: Disneyland Left.
So they started crying and headed home.