A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor.
‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks.
‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
I’ve just come into some money.
I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
Yo momma’s so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet.
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
Yo mama is so stupid she was the reason the walking dead was made.
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland.
The sing said: Disneyland Left.
So they started crying and headed home.