Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Do I have any chance to win? Asks the boxer. Off course! Continue hitting the air and the adversary will shortly get a lung inflammation.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sport
A man walks into a nearly empty bar and orders a drink. He's sitting alone at the end of the bar, sipping away, and he hears a voice. "Nice shirt." He looks around and sees no one nearby. He forgets about it and continues drinking. "Nice tie," the voice says again. He looks around a second time. The bartender and all other customers are at the other side of the room. Confused, the man calls the bartender over and asks about the mysterious voice that admired his clothing. "Oh, that's the peanuts," the bartender said. "The peanuts?" asked the man. "Yeah, they're complimentary."
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, drunk
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course”, comes the reply. The first man then asks: “Where are you from?” “I’m from Scotland”, replies the second man. The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Scotland too! Let’s have another round to Scotland.” “Of Course”, replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: “Where in Scotland are you from?” “Aberdeen”, comes the reply. “I can’t believe it”, says the first man. “I’m from Aberdeen too! Let’s have another drink to Aberdeen.” “Of course”, replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: “What school did you go to?” “Saint Andrews”, replies the second man. “I graduated in ’62.” “This is unbelievable!”, the first man says. “I went to Saint Andrews and graduated in ’62, too!” About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. “What’s been going on?”, he asks the bartender “Nothing much,” replies the bartender. “The MacClyde twins are drunk again.”, because there ain’t no way I can pass that test.”anisms.
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, drunk, school
How many cop jokes are there? Just two, all the rest are true!
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop
Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers? A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room...
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer
Did you hear about the 9 year old African nigglet? He was going through a mid-life crisis.
Vote: has 42.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, black people