When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Girlfriend left but my heart is not broken... My heart is not made in China!
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything." After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. "Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."
What did the black man do first time when they saw a ship? They stick they’re head in the water to see if it has wheels!
Q. What mode do you use in maths? A. Multi-plyers.
Yo mamma so stupid she locked herself out of her motercycle.
The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.