Best jokes ever

A gorilla walks into a pub, pulls up a stool, and orders beer. The bartender gives him a mug and says, "that'll be five bucks." As the gorilla reaches for his pocket, the bartender adds, "you know, we don't usually get many gorilla customers in here." The gorilla shrugged and replies, "at five bucks a beer, it's no wonder . . ."
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What king of money do fishermen make? Net profits!
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Two blondes drive through the middle of Kansas, surrounded entirely by wheat fields. One blonde says, "Look over there!" They see another blonde in scuba gear acting like she's swimming through the wheat. The blonde driving says, "It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name." The other blonde says, "Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and tell her off."
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What goes stop, go, stop, go, stop, go? A blonde at a flashing red light!
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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