I’ve just come into some money.
I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?
A blonde was so proud of herself because she finished a jigsaw in 6 months and the cover said 2-4 years!
A man went to work for a zoo veterinarian.
"Look in the lion's mouth," the vet told him.
"How do I do that?" he asked.
"Carefully," replied the vet.
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are no pupils to see!
Yo momma’s so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet.
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
Yo mama is so stupid she was the reason the walking dead was made.
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland.
The sing said: Disneyland Left.
So they started crying and headed home.
Yo momma so poor...
She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
Yo momma so poor...
When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."