Best jokes ever

A desperate man enters a bar and says: All the lawyers are stupid!!! From a table a solid man rises up and goes to the desperate man: Take that back! Why? Are you a lawyer? No, I’m stupid...
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: bar, lawyer
Do I have any chance to win? Asks the boxer. Off course! Continue hitting the air and the adversary will shortly get a lung inflammation.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: sport
The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does. Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years. Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer. Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: IT
A farmer and his pig were driving down the road when a cop pulled him over. The cop asked the farmer, “Didn’t you know it is against the law to ride with a pig in the front of you truck?” The farmer replied, “No, I didn’t knowed that.” The cop ask the farmer where he was going and he said, “To Memphis”. The cop said, “I will let you off the hook this time if you promise to take the pig to the zoo when you get to Memphis.” So the farmer promised he would.Several days later the cop spotted the farmer with the pig driving down the road and he pulled him over again. The cop said “I thought I told you to take this pig to the zoo when you got to Memphis”. And to this the farmer replied “I did and we had so much fun, I’m taking him to the circus.”
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop
A gorilla walks into a pub, pulls up a stool, and orders beer. The bartender gives him a mug and says, "that'll be five bucks." As the gorilla reaches for his pocket, the bartender adds, "you know, we don't usually get many gorilla customers in here." The gorilla shrugged and replies, "at five bucks a beer, it's no wonder . . ."
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
How do you call a Triceratops with horns on his butt? Tricera-bottoms.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: If a black guy is driving a bicycle why shouldn't I hit him? A: Because it's probably my bicycle.
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has 42.60 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.
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has 42.55 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, disgusting, morbid
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
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has 42.54 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
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has 42.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: car, dad, driving, kids
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