Yo momma’s so stupid, she thinks Johnny Cash is a pay toilet.
A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
Yo mama is so stupid she was the reason the walking dead was made.
Two blonds were driving to Disneyland.
The sing said: Disneyland Left.
So they started crying and headed home.
Yo momma so poor...
She waves an ice lolly around and calls it Air conditioning.
Yo momma so poor...
When I saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, I hollered - "Lost a shoe?", and she said - "Nope...just found one..."
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall .
The drunk mumbles, "ain’t no use knocking, there’s no paper on this side either!"
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.
After examining the man he says,
"Sir, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are bloodshot.
Have you been drinking?"
The man gets really indignant and says, "Officer, I couldn’t help but notice your eyes are glazed.
Have you been eating doughnuts?"
A guy is sitting at the bar watching the game and enjoying his beer.
Another guy strolls over and they begin to converse.
After a while the second asks if he had ever played "beer football?"
He said no, and asked how to play.
"Well, if you chug a beer, you get 6 points, and if you bend over and fart, you get an extra point."
So, the second guy starts off by chugging his beer and farting.
The first man chugged his beer with ease, and when he bent over to fart, the second guy came up and kicked him in the butt and exclaimed, "BLOCK THE KICK!"