Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
Q:What's the most dangerous job in America? A: The graveyard shift at a KFC in the projects.
Q: How do you know your black neighbor has moved? A: The new neighbor has car insurance.
Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.