Best jokes ever

A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctor told her to demonstrate. She touched her nose and it hurt. She touched her stomach and it hurt. The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes. "Look Here Lady, your finger is broken!"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, hospital
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
A Blonde was at a gumball machine. She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out. The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball. She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde
How do you hire a teddy bear? Put him on stilts.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
An old lady really wanted to visit England, the home of her ancestors, before she died. So she went to the Federal Office and asked for a passport. “You must take the loyalty oath first,” the passport clerk said. “Raise your right hand, please.” The old gal raised her right hand. “Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?” The sweet old face paled and the voice trembled as she responded, “Well, I guess so, but. . .will I have help, or will I have to do it all by myself?”
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: old people, priest, travel
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones.
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has 44.88 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: phone, prison
Chuck Norris knows the last number of infinity.
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other, boy was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop! The other Buddy says when my wife goes off on me I just don't listen. How do you do that? Says the other. It's easy! I turn off the light!
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: marriage, wife
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, gay
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