Best jokes ever

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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More jokes about: women
As my grandmother and I were walking towards the United Nations Building in New York City, we came upon a street evangelist who was trying to get the attention of passersby. He urged those near him to flee from the wrath to come. “I warn you,” he roared, “that there will be weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth!” An old woman in the crowd shouted snidely: “Sir, I have no teeth!” “Lady,” the evangelist retorted, “teeth will be provided!”
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More jokes about: old people
How come the women loves the PC? It’s easier to turn on!
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More jokes about: computer, IT, love
What is so special about the retirement age? "It is the time when one acquires sufficient experience to lose one's job."
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More jokes about: age, old people, work
A teenage boy overdosed on ten bottles of Viagra. Not only is he lucky to be alive, he’s lucky not to have taken his eye out.
Vote: has 33.96 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sex, teen, viagra
Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face? A: When her mustache is on fire.
Vote: has 33.88 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
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More jokes about: animal, disgusting, fart, women
Q: What did Hitler get for his birthday? A: An easy bake oven and a GI-Jew.
Vote: has 33.86 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Vote: has 33.86 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kids, money
Teacher: Ramu, why do you always get so dirty? Ramu: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
Vote: has 33.74 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher