After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.
Doctor to woman patient: "Your husband is too fond of strong coffee. You should not give it to him." Patient: "But you should see how excited he gets when I give him weak coffee."
Chuck Norris can locate the nowhere.
Chuck Norris doesn't moon walk, the moon Chuck-Norris Walks.
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
WikiLeaks are just Chuck Norris' Thoughts.
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
The reason Waldo hides is because he saw Chuck Norris looking for him.
A time paradox was invented when Chuck Norris went back in time to raise himself. Now he has provoked the event 2012.