A drunk phones the police to report that thieves have been in his car. ‘They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,’ he cries out… ‘Oh hang on. I’m in the back seat.’
A woman went to doctors office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now.. I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC? Of course I do - it's Facebook...
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass
Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common? A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
Q: What do you call a black drinking out of the toilet? A: Pushing his luck.
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
Most men regard blondes as a golden opportunity.