A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
Q: How do u call an gay Indian guy. A: Indi-anus
Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
Most babies born today are very young.
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
A man comes home from work early to find his blonde wife in bed with three men. Completely shocked, he shouts, "Hello, Hello, Hello!" The blonde whines, "What? No hello for me?"
Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
Yo mama so stupid she though iHop was a gym!
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting