Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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Chuck Norris had his first job as a paperboy.
"There were no survivors."
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Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
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Chuck Norris fell down the stairs and broke somebody elses leg.
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system.
The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
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