Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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Chuck Norris just checked out from 501... In 8 darts.
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Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
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Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
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Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation.
Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
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Aliens DO indeed exist.
They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
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