Chuck Norris removes the tag from mattresses, and mails them back to the company.
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Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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Chuck Norris commited suicide, and lived.
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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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Crest fights cavities, Chuck Norris kills them.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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