How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. "I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want no vacaine because I’m in a big hurry," the woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way." The dentist was quite impressed. "You’re certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
What is the difference between a school teacher and a train? The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says ‘chew chew chew’.
Yo mama is so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping out the basement window.
The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. “The only consolation I can find in these awful grades,” lamented the father, “is that I know he never cheated during his exams.”
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
The fastest dialog in the world: (WC door is opening) Man inside: Heyyy! Man outside: Sorryyy!
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.