I make money the old-fashioned way. My salary is the same as it was ten years ago
Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle. Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.
What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
We were so poor our mother would send us out with a shopping list to chase the garbage truck.
What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? Stick his bill up his rear.
A man walks into a bar pulling a heavy chain. The bartender asks the man what he could get him and why the man was pulling that chain around? The man answered " HEY!! you ever tried pushing one of these things!!"
A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland. She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
The man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture." the man said. "And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?" the cop asked. "My wife." said the man.
Q: How do you know if a blonde has been sending e-mail? A: You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.
Why do the blondes spill water over the computer? They want to navigate over the internet.