Best jokes ever

‘Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their families came and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said, “So, what did you think?”’ Steven Wright
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More jokes about: life
Q: What's a polygon? A: A dead parrot.
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More jokes about: black humor
A man asks a guy if he likes fishdicks, the stupid guy answers like this because he thinks that he said fishsticks so he says, "Yes, I Love them." Then the man asks him again and says "Do you like having them in your mouth?" Then the stupid Guy answears like this "Yes I like them in my mouth says the stupid guy confused" Then the man says "What are you, a gayfish?"
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More jokes about: communication, dirty, gay, stupid
She was hungry for love and didn’t know where her next male was coming from.
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More jokes about: sex
How do you know when your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
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More jokes about: dad, disgusting, sex
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!" "This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
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More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, wine
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
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More jokes about: animal
What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes.
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More jokes about: disgusting
Man: Great idea, bad design.
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More jokes about: men
He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
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More jokes about: mean, navy