Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
A blonde asks a bypasser: Excuse me, would you tell me where the other side of the road is? It's on the other side. Strange.. When I was on the other side, people told me it's here...
Priest to woman: ‘I don’t think you’ll ever find another man like your late husband.’ Woman: ‘Who’s going to look?’
Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads? So you can pick them up five at a time
What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. "Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!" "I did? What did I tell you?" said the dad. "You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble." "What are you talking about? That's one of the largest banks in the state," he said. "there must be some mistake." "I don't think so," she sniffed. "They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, 'Insufficient Funds'."
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'
Men are like.....Vacations. They never seem to be long enough.