Life is an open door.
It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.
Yo momma’s so ugly, she makes onions cry.
Wife to husband: ‘When I married you you said you had an ocean-going yacht!’
Husband: ‘Shut up and row.’
Chuck Norris can fly around the world on a paper airplane.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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Patient: "Doctor, I have to ask a personal question, if you don’t mind. Why do you charge fees much lower than other doctors?"
Doctor: "You see, I am not a M.B.B.S. I am only a B.Sc."
A friend of mine often tells to his wife: "It is better to be loved and almost the only one rather than to be the only one and almost loved…"
Chuck Norris told Wiz Khalifa what it is.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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Chuck Norris flosses with dynamite wick.
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