Best jokes ever

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breath!!!!
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More jokes about: kids
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.
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More jokes about: age, black humor, sex
What do you call 100 niggers on the bottom of the sea? A good start.
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More jokes about: black people, racist
A truck driver was pulled over by a State Trooper. The patrolman told him to get out of the truck, and noticed that the driver appeared to be putting something in his mouth as he stepped out of the cab. Figuring that the driver was putting away his pep pills, the patrolman asked "Did I just see you swallow something?" "Yep, that was my birth control pill," said the driver. "Birth control pill?" asked the patrolman. "Yep, when I saw your light, I knew I was screwed."
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More jokes about: cop
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? A. Breasts don't have eyes.
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More jokes about: men
One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally, the fellow started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight, I'm the designated decoy"
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More jokes about: alcohol
Men are like guns. Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
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More jokes about: men
Yo' sister is so ugly, I thought she was Yo' Mama.
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More jokes about: Yo mama
What’s a foot long, transparent and lies in the gutter. A lawyer once the crap’s been kicked out of him.
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More jokes about: lawyer