Yo' Mama is so stupid, she's as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
What king of money do fishermen make? Net profits!
"How are your hemorrhoids?" "Swell."
"Yo momma so stupid she steals free bread!"
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest!
George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Colin Powell, and Bill Clinton were on the yellow brick road, going to see the Wizard of Oz. When they got there, the Wizard of Oz said they could each have one wish. ''I want to have brains,'' said George W. POOF! He got some brains. ''I want to have a heart,'' said Dick Cheney. POOF! He had a heart (albeit a problematic one.) ''I want to have courage,'' said Colin Powell. POOF! He had courage. Finally it was former President, Bill Clinton's turn. ''Well, what do you want?'' asked the Wizard. Clinton thought a moment and asked, ''Ummm... Is Dorothy around?''
How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my get up and go has got up and went. But in spite of it all I am able to grin when I recall where my get up has been.
Q: How do you fix a woman's watch? A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!
Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap? She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.