What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
A dear steer.
What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?
A full bull.
A woman is approaching a very small Bistro.
She calls the barkeeper and when he is standing in front of her she asks him in a very seductive way to come nearer.
Then she bends over the desk and starts to carress his beard.
"Are you the boss of this Bistro?" she asks and touches tenderly his cheek.
"Ehhh. No.
Not at all!" the barkeeper replies.
"Would you please call him here?" the lady asks and gently touches his hair.
"Oh, I'm very sorry.
But no.
Impossible!" the barkeeper sighs who has - no doubt - fun with this situation.
"Would you then please do me a great favour?" the lady asks and follows gently the line of his lips.
"Of course.
What ever you wish!" the barkeeper moans.
"I want to leave a message for the boss!" she says and let first one - then two - fingers slip into his mouth which he gently sucks on.
"What message?" the barkeeper asks with the two fingers in his mouth.
"Please tell him that there is no paper, nor soap, nor towel on the lady's toilet!"
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange?
A pip squeak.
A Blonde was at a gumball machine.
She put a quarter in and kept getting a gumball out.
The man behind her asked if he could get a gumball.
She said, "Shut up! I'm WINNING!"
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
A bullfighter.
The vicar never entertained lewd thoughts – they always entertained him.
Q: What's black and brown and looks good on a nigger?
A: A Doberman.