R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.
What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k? A joystick does its job.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Q: What do you call black people in a swimming pool? A: Coco puffs. Q: What do u call mexicans in the swimming pool? A: Reeces puffs reeces puffs!
Q: Why is there cotton in medicine bottles? A: To remind the black people they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers.
What do you call Black people running down a hill? Jail break.
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"