Yo mama is so fat a bus hit her and she said a mosquito.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman?
A: Too close to the gas chamber.
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked.
I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
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Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
Because they're headcases.
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A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.
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Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time.
Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina."
Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
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