Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!"
"There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time.
My fee, of course, will be $1,500."
Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
Q: Whats faster than a black person with a TV?
A: His brother with a VCR.
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked.
I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.
There was a man who just got out of the army.
He was really horny and only had $5, so he went to a whore house.
He told the women, "Gimme anything you got."
So then he is having sex with this women and says "Gosh, you're really rough inside."
She says "Hold on" and she goes to the bathroom.
10 minutes later she comes back and they start to do it again.
He says "Now you're really smooth. What happened?"
She says, "I picked off all the scabs."
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A son and the dad are walking around on the streets.
The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind."
The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once?
A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
How are crayons like people?
No one likes the white ones.
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating.
He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
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