Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it!
My husband and I married for better or worse. He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? A: A towel.
Sex is like a motor racing - the most important thing is not to save money for bes quality rubber.
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
What’s sicker than driving over a baby? Skidding.
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.
A blonde keeps checking her mail box. A neighbour notices her repeated trips to the kerb and asks if she’s waiting for a special delivery. ‘No,’ she replies. ‘But my computer keeps telling me I have mail.’
What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!