Best jokes ever

What did the music teacher need a ladder for? To reach the top notes.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, death
What’s it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
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Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, she practises birth control by leaving the lights on.
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, she went to a family reunion looking for a boyfriend.
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More jokes about: family, relationship, Yo mama
Yo momma’s so fat, when the family wants to watch home movies they ask her to wear white.
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A couple celebrating their 50th anniversary had many well wishers stop by to congratulate them. After all of their guest had left, the two settled into recliners. “Mother,” the man said, “our marriage is tried and true.” “What’s that you say?” she asked. “You know I can’t hear without my hearing aid.” “I said, our marriage is tried and true,” he repated, a little louder.
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More jokes about: old people
What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum. Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do? He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch. Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down." She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that! That thing is smelly and nasty!" The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
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More jokes about: animal