Yo mama is so fat a bus hit her and she said a mosquito.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.
Q: Why is it jewish men won't go down on a woman? A: Too close to the gas chamber.
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked. I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.
A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.
Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina." Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.