Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
The following conversation took place in school. Teacher: "So we are all descended from Adam and Eve." Young kid: "My dad says we came from apes." Teacher: "That's probably true for your family Abdul."
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked. I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads? Because they're headcases.
Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: "I should warn you, Ted -- I've got acute angina." Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either."
Q: How do Asians name their babies? A: They throw a can down the stairs.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Chuch Norris filmed the making of the first camera.
Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.