A motorcycle cop pulls over a driver.
‘Have you been drinking, sir?’ says the cop.
‘Why?’ says the driver.
‘Is there a fat chick in my car?’
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
Vote:
What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?
They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Vote:
Where do fish keep their money?
In a river bank!
A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer.
The guy drinks it fast.
"Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy.
The guy drinks it fast.
"Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly.
Again, the guy drinks it fast.
"Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"
The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?"
"I haven't got any money!"
Your momma's so fat that when she sits on a penny Lincoln dies once again!!
A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor.
‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks.
‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor.
How is an earnest lawyer called?
An oxymoron.
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
Who knows? - It hasn't happened yet!!