God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Which one has the biggest tits? The blonde....she's 18.
What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.
A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"