Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
How do you stop a nigger from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.
A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth. The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared. The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared. The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames. Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"
Q: How do Asians name their babies? A: They throw a can down the stairs.
A man who recently had a sex-change operation was talking to his former buddies at work about the operation. "Was it painful?" someone asked. "Well,"she said. "There was one part that was extremely painful." "I bet I know what part was so painful," someone else said. "I bet it was when they cut off your balls," they said. "No," she said. "I was heavily sedated and didn't feel a thing." "Then it must have been when they cut off your pecker," another person offered. "No," she said. "I was sedated then too, and didn't feel anything." "Then what part of the operation was so painful?" They wanted to know. "Well," she said. "After they were done cutting, they stuck a straw in my ear and sucked out half of my brains."
Q: Why did the Asian cross the road? A: Because he had no car!