Yo' Mama's breath is so nasty, it makes onions cry.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Q: When does a cub become a boy scout? A: When he eats his first Brownie.
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.