When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored
And decided to carve a sculpture with only his
Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called....
Mount Rushmore.
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What do ducks wear to party's?
A duck-sedo!
Yo mamas so nasty, she went to the hair salon, took off her shirt, and said "I wanna impress a boy, so braid it."
A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.
She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"
The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"
And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"
The guy says: "In that case follow me"
So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"
So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
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Two programmers in a bar:
Do you see that chick there?
Look at here “properties”!
Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.
Class: Hooray!
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
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Yo' Mama is so stupid, when her boss told her to take her ugly ass home, she came back 10 minutes later without her ass.
One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence his name had been removed from the town register.
He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor.
"I’m sorry," said the mayor, "I must have taken Leif off my census."