Q: When does a cub become a boy scout? A: When he eats his first Brownie.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
I bought a Jewish sports car. Not only will it stop on a dime, it will pick it up too. I've heard they're gas guzzlers though.
Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.
Q: How many Democrats does it take to clean up a disastrous Bush presidency? A: At least two!
One day a medical professor and his class were standing over a corpse and the professor said, "There are two things to being a medical forensicist. First: Don't fear anything." After saying that, the professor shoved his middle finger up the corpse's anus and licked it. He then told the class to do the same. After hesitating, they all did it. "Next," the professor said, "you have to have a key observation finger. Thus, I licked my index finger."
Q: Why can't white people swim? A: Cause they get soggy.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.