Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.
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Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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PlayStation network was never hacked.
Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt.
This parrot was a very nasty parrot.
It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer.
The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped.
George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.”
He opened the door and saw the bird alive!
The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again.
George said, “Why the change?”
The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."