The world ends on December 21st, 2012.
Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Superman and The Flash have a race around the world.
Who wins?
Chuck Norris.
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Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
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What's black, smells and has 17 tits?
The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards.
If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand.
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
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If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts.
I'm thinking maybe homicide.
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One day a Viking named Leif returned after a long sea voyage and found that during his absence his name had been removed from the town register.
He sent his wife to the town hall make a complaint to the mayor.
"I’m sorry," said the mayor, "I must have taken Leif off my census."