Best jokes ever

I sent my young son to pick up ice cream, I handed him some money and a coupon. Later he came home with the ice cream and the coupon. When I asked him what happened, he replied, “Mom I had enough money. I didn’t need the coupon.”
Vote: has 28.48 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
Vote: has 28.45 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, hospital
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink rapidly. “Is everything okay, pal?”, the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”. Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, “Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet?” “Yeah. But today is the last day”.
Vote: has 28.45 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, marriage, wife
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom? He wanted to keep the swelling down.
Vote: has 28.42 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Roses are red "just like blood" Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo" So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out And shows me 1 thing your shit.
Vote: has 28.38 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, poems, vulgar
Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
Vote: has 28.32 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving? Nethier, the cop is.
Vote: has 28.25 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, racist
Two old ladies are discussing their dead husbands. ‘Tell me,’ says one. ‘Did you have mutual orgasms?’ ‘No,’ says the other. ‘I think we were with the Prudential.’
Vote: has 28.23 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army.
Vote: has 28.11 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Why do lions always eat raw meat? "Because they don't know how to cook."
Vote: has 28.11 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food