Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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Yo mama is so stupid that when the computer said "Press any key to continue", she couldn't find the 'Any' key.
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Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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Chuck Norris can break his opponents serve with an ace.
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Chuck Norris put corns in the Milky Way and eat them at his breakfast.
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Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
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