What's black, smells and has 17 tits?
The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
Hallmark would make "Sorry I don't remember your name" cards.
If your girlfriend really needs to talk to you during the game, she'll appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time," would complete a break up.
Birth control would come in ale or lager.
Instead of an engagement ring, you could surprise your fiance with a giant "You're #1!" foam hand.
Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur in leap years.
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If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts.
I'm thinking maybe homicide.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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