Best jokes ever

How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
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My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.
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A blonde was on her way to Disneyland, but she went home when she saw a sign saying ‘Disneyland Left’.
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Did you hear about the blonde who thought Doris Day was a national holiday?
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Q: How does a blonde like her eggs? A: Unfertilized.
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A couple of kids in the South get pulled over for speeding. When the trooper approaches the car, the driver says 'What's the problem, sir?'. The trooper takes out his machined aluminum flashlight and whacks the kid across the head saying 'You don't speak to a state trooper unless you're spoken to'. The trooper writes out the citation and gives it to the driver who responds 'Thanks a lot'. The trooper again gives the kid a dose of the flashlight and says 'When you address a state trooper, you finish your sentence with the word sir'. He then walks over to the passenger side and whacks the other kid with the flashlight. The kid says 'What was that for, sir?' The trooper says 'I was just fulfilling your wish. Y'all wouldn't have gotten 100 yards down this road before you'd have said to your friend, "I wish he'd have hit me with that flashlight", so I fulfilled your wish.'
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Yo mama's so fat, when she farted pluto's ice caps melted.
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What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
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Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs? They keep breaking them with the hammers.
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Hitler is daddy! Hump me! Fuck me! Daddy better gas them Jews. My gas chambers love the smoke. G-g-gas the Jews.
Vote: has 22.01 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish, morbid