Best jokes ever

What did God say after she made Eve? "Practice makes perfect."
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.
Vote: has 19.32 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
The wages of sin are death – but after taxes and NI contributions you’ll just end up feeling a bit tired.
Vote: has 19.23 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Ricky Ponting's wife calls her husband but Australian Cricket Team Manager attends the call. Ricky's Wife: "Hello Can I talk to Ricky, this is his wife." Australian team Manager: "Sorry, he is just going to bat, I am the team manager, any message for him." Ricky's Wife: "No Problem Manager, I will hold on!"
Vote: has 19.23 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, sport, wife
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
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More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer
The English teacher’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised.” She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, “No. I am surprised. You are astonished.”
Vote: has 19.18 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
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More jokes about: baby, Christmas, disgusting, health
In a car there are two persons: a car mechanic and a programmer. They where going to work when suddenly the car broke down. The car mechanic tries to make the car work again but no solution. Suddenly the programmer says: "I say we better FORMAT it!"
Vote: has 19.07 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, geek, IT, mechanic, programmer
On the ninth day, God said, "Let there be soccer." And it was good. Later on that day, God said, "Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence." God said, "Let it be called the Manchester United." Later that day, God said, "Even Man U needs idiots." So HE made their fans.
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More jokes about: god, soccer, sport
A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"
Vote: has 18.92 % from 85 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bird, cop, dirty, fat