Yo' Mama is like a hockey player, she doesn't change her pad for three periods.
Yo mamma's so stupid she got trapped in a bathroom and wet her pants!
Q: How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica?
A: Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears.
Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen.
One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.
"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"
"I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied.
"You haven’t touched me in months.
We’re going to talk about sex right now!"
"OK, OK.
So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident?
A: Some dick cut her off.
There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck.
And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
Q. A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A. "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
How is an earnest lawyer called?
An oxymoron.
Your mamma is so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone!