Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
Chuck Norris can paint the rainbow... with black.
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Yo mama so fat she the one that caused global warming when she farted.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
Men are like.....Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
A rather drunk man was walking along the street one day. He was staggering quite a bit and made two nuns that were approaching him, very nervous. The two nuns split apart and one walked to the man's left and one walked to the man's right. After the nuns were past the man, he turned around and said, "Now how the hell did she do that?"