What do you call a woman that works like a man?? Lazy.
I never drink unless I’m alone or with somebody.
A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message. ‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’ The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words. You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’ ‘No thanks,’ says the dog.
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
What’s a swimmer’s favourite sport? Pool.
What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.
OK, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
The cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits!
What does a blonde use for protection during sex? A bus shelter.
I’ve know John a long time and am considered a bit of a father figure to him. I have watched him crawl around on his knees, drink from a bottle and I’ve cleaned up after him but enough about the Bachelor Party.