What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? "You keep hearing about them, but never see any."
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!
What's green green green green green? A frog rolling down a hill.
The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them: If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
Two alpinists on a mountain: One of them falls in a crack, the other jumps at the hole and screams after the other one: Are you hurt? Noooooo! He hears. How come? I’m still fallinnnnnnn!
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
Rugby player: "Doctor, doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror - I feel like throwing up. What's wrong with me?" Doctor: "I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect."
Three vampires went into a bar and sat down. The barmaid came over to take their orders. "And what would you, er, gentlemen like tonight?" The first vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The second vampire said, "I'll have a mug of blood." The third vampire shook his head at his companions and said, "I will have a glass of plasma." The barmaid wrote down each order, went to the bar and called to the bartender, "Two bloods and a blood light."
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which the man promptly replied "I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!"