Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.
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How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia?
2 months...
How does he get there?
He walks.
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Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
A: Women!
Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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How are tigers like sergeants in the army?
They both wear stripes.
Chuck Norris can blow the answers away from the wind.
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Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers.
When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing.
"Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?"
"I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"