How do girls get minks?
The same way minks get minks.
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Miss her.
Pity her.
An army major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks:
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic syphilis, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man." says the Major.
He goes to the next bed.
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic piles, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get back to the front, Sir."
"Good man." says the Major.
He goes to the next bed.
"What's your problem, Soldier?"
"Chronic gum disease, Sir"
"What treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush each day."
"What's your ambition?"
"To get the wire brush before the other two, Sir"
Q: What did Bacon say to Tomato?
A: Lettuce get together!
Yo mama so hairy when you were born you almost died of rugburn.
Yo Mama's so stupid when she heard someone say it was chille outside,she went and grabbed a size 20 bowl.
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored
And decided to carve a sculpture with only his
Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called....
Mount Rushmore
Vote:
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Teacher: “Why are you late?”
Boy: “Because of a sign down the road.”
Teacher: “What does a sign have to do with your being late?”
Boy: “The sign said, ‘School Ahead, Go Slow!’”