Q: What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A: A beer-a-cuda!
When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Guns need a licence to bear Chuck Norris.
A knight walked into a blacksmith's shop. The blacksmith said: "You've got mail."
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Jesus won't come back again. Why? Because he know you will kill him and see if he will wake up again.
There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor. A nigger family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family, because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.
Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!