Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
"What are you doing there?" "I'm making something." "What are you making?" "A bomb." "Can I help?" "Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
Q: What did one boob say to the other boob? A: "It is nice to see you partner."
The waitress asked how I would like my coffee. I told her: "like my woman - hot and black".
A priest took a beautiful girl in his bedroom. He put a Bible on the bed and asked the girl to lie on the bed. When the priest tried to have sex with her, the girl shouted: "Father, what are you doing?" The priest replied "Calm down my child. Holy Bible under you, Holy Father above you and Holy water passing through."