Why did the blonde have square boobs?
She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates.
Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.'
How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?
Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be?
Out for the count!
How many men does it take to please a woman.
Impossible.
Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp.
After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."
The first said, "I wish I were smarter."
So, she became a redhead.
The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."
She became a brunette.
The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"
So, she became a man.