Best jokes ever

Why did the blonde have square boobs? She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
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Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
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Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
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More jokes about: chocolate, marriage, memory, romantic
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ''Pint please, and one for the road.'
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How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
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Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
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Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator? A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
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If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
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More jokes about: kids
How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
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Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie's lamp. After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you." The first said, "I wish I were smarter." So, she became a redhead. The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is." She became a brunette. The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!" So, she became a man.
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