Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?
Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
How many L.A. cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Six.
One to do it and 5 to smash the old bulb to smithereens.
Men and women were created equal but women continued to improve.
What's the biggest difference between men and women ?
Men are crabby all month long.
A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building.
He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you women jump off of the building?"
The blonde answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings..."
When is the best time to fake an orgasm?
When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The man says back to the blind man, "Look buddy, I'm blonde.
The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde.
The bouncer is blonde.
The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, "Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times."
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
A jump-lead walks into a bar.
The barman says ''I'll serve you, but don't start anything''
Q: What do you get when you cross a black person with a white person?
A: Bestiality.
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