Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets? A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.
A blonde goes horseback riding for the first time in her life, she's never had any prior lessons or training. As soon as her bottom hits the saddle, the horse gallops away. Immediately the girl realizes she's not in the saddle correctly and she does everything she can to stay on the horse, she pulls on the horse's mane, she grabs the saddle ... but she realizes it's no use. Finally she decides the best thing to do is to jump clear of the horse but as she does this, her foot becomes entangled in the stirrup and she is dragged by the horse. Her head is hitting the ground ... thump ... thump ... thump ... over and over again. Just as she is about to lose consciousness ..... the store manager runs out and unplugs the horse!
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
In the town I have met one older woman, she told me: "if you give me ten euros, I will pray for your black soul." I gave her the ten euros, became suspicious, didn't believe her and told her: "ok, but pray for me right now, not in the evening." The woman has begun: "guardian angel, please, take care of my soul, forgive me all my sins and give me everything I need in my life." I have asked her only: "for my money?"
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean? A: An oil spill