Best jokes ever

Q: How many niggers does it take to change a light bulb? A: There are no light bulbs in Africa.
Vote:
has 25.85 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
There once was two people Lisa and Brian They got married and had a child. The only problem was that the child was only a head, he had no arms, legs or torso. So all his life he was picked on and teased and he always wished he had a body. So when he turned 21 his dad took him to a bar and let him have his first beer ever. When he drank a whole bottle an arm popped out. When he drank more bottles more body parts popped out. After drinking many beers he finally had a whole body. As they left the bar, he was very drunk and was hit by a bus and he died. The moral of the story "Quit while you're a head."
Vote:
has 25.82 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, kids, life, marriage
Four year-old Harry, who could tell time, was playing with a wall clock when her grandpa visited. Later, when he was putting on his coat to leave, the grandpa asked him what time it was. He looked at the clock blankly, and then answered in a triumphant way, "It's time for you to go, grandpa!"
Vote:
has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: kids, time
What did the blonde get on her IQ test? Saliva.
Vote:
has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you. 2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp. 3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat. 4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk. 5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King. 6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot. 7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you. 8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den. 9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit. 10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!
Vote:
has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, soccer
What did the psychiatrist say to the android kleptomaniac? DON'T keep taking the tablets!
Vote:
has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: IT
For thirty years, Officer Johnson had arrived at the police station at 9 A.M. on the dot ready for duty. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival in the briefing room, it caused a major sensation. All announcements and patrol assignments ceased and the sergeant himself, looking at his watch and muttering, stormed out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, his uniform dusty and torn, his nametag missing, his face scratched and bruised, his shield bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs. Nearly freakin' killed myself." And the sergeant said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"
Vote:
has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: cop, time
How come you don’t find stupid brunettes anywhere? Because they all painted themselves blond.
Vote:
has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blond whines at her mother: Mother, I’m impregnate! What? Where the hell was you’re head? What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
Vote:
has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Scientists have located the gene for alcoholism. They found it at a party, talking way too loudly.
Vote:
has 25.81 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
<<<1344134513461347
More jokes →
Page 1344 of 1402.