What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?
She said they were pretty good, but might offend some Puerto Ricans.
He was so ugly when he was born they didn’t know whether to buy a cot or a cage.
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
Two guys and a girl were sitting at a bar talking about their jobs.
One guy says, ''I'm a YUPPIE...ya know...Young, Urban, Professional.
The second guy says, ''I'm a DINK ...ya know...Double Income No Kids.''
They asked the woman, ''What are you?''
She replied... ''I'm a WIFE...ya know... WASH, IRON, FUCK, ETC.''
Two tomatoes are trying to pass the street.
Suddenly, the one screams to the other: "CAR!"
(splash)
"WHERE?"
(splash)
Q: Why did the fat turkey cross the road?
A: To get hit by my car.
Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you.
You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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