Best jokes ever

Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"
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has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, money
A blonde walks into an appliance store and says I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk replies Im sorry, we dont do business with blondes. So she stormed off back to her house and dyed her hair black. The next day, she went back to the same store and said I would like to buy that T.V. please. The store clerk, once again, replies Sorry, we dont do business with blondes. The blonde replied How did you know I was blonde? The clerk says Because thats a microwave, not a T.V.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. What is the definition of gross ignorance? A. 144 blondes.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: blonde
There was this kid who wanted to divorce his parents, so he takes them to court. The judge says, "do you want to live with your dad?" the kid says "no! he beats me!". The judge says,"you want to live with your mom?" "no! she beats me too!". So the judge says, "who do you want to live with then?" The kid says, "The Cleveland Browns...they can't beat anybody!"
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: sport
A man enters the bar and orders a double martini. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, “Look, buddy, I’ll bring ya’ martinis all night long but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill.” The customer replies, “I’m peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it’s time to go home.”
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, wife
A frail little old lady walked up to a cop and said, "I was attacked! I was attacked!" The cop said, "When?" She said, "Twenty-three years ago." The cop said, "What are you telling me now for?" The little old lady said, "I just like to talk about it once in a while."
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
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