Best jokes ever

He was such an egotist that he joined the navy so the world could see him.
has 27.88 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: mean, navy
What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes.
has 27.88 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why do Americans like black candles? A: Because it reminds them of 'the good old days'.
has 27.85 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: black people, ethnic, history, racist
how come blondes don't wear tampons? so their crabs don't go bungie jumping.
has 27.77 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: blonde, sex
Q: What happens when you put your hand in a bag of jelly beans? A: The black one takes your watch.
has 27.76 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: racist
What do we do with crude oil? Teach it some manners!
has 27.74 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: kids
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
has 27.74 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
has 27.74 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, travel
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
has 27.73 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, kids, sex
A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The Barkeep says "Depends on how good of a trick it is." The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano. The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink. The drunk, after killing his drink says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?" The barkeep says "If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night." The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the frog." Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and franticaly asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor. The agent wakes him up and says, "I will give you 1 Million dollars for that act." The drunks says "not for sale". The agent says, "Ok, 100 grand for just the scating rat." The drunk say, "deal" The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat. The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, "Are you nuts? You had a Million dollar act that you just broke up for a whimpy 100 g's?" The Drunk says, "Relax, the frog is a vantriliqist."
has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, money
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