Best jokes ever

Two tomatoes are trying to pass the street. Suddenly, the one screams to the other: "CAR!" (splash) "WHERE?" (splash)
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: kids
Yo momma’s so ugly, when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours – for a quote!
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has 27.71 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
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has 27.66 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: phone, women
I came downstairs this morning and my wife asked me what I wanted for breakfast. So I said, ‘Eggs, bacon, fried bread and mushrooms.’ At least that’s what I meant to say. What I actually said was, ‘You’ve ruined my life, you fat ugly witch.’
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has 27.66 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: What does FUBU really stand for? A: Farmers used to buy us.
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has 27.63 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
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has 27.63 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, atheist
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough. Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor
In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, war
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor
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