I saw the priest watching pornography.
Should I get jelous?
-Johnny, 11 years old.
Vote:
Chuck Norris drives in reverse and still drives better than you...
Chuck Norris is under contract with Zales and DeBeer not to eat coal.
A: How do children in Baghdad do?
A: Bombastically.
"Where did you born?"
"At the hospital!"
"Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
What is a baby?
"A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
"I've figured out your problem," he told the young southpaw.
"You always lose control at the same point in every game."
"When is that?"
"Right after the National Anthem."
How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
A boxer is whining to the doctor that he can’t sleep.
I won’t give you any drugs, you don’t need any.
Use the classical method, the one with counting the sheep’s.
I tried.
But, every time I get to 9 I jump off the bed.