Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
Squash
What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater?
A plain clothes police dog!
Two packets walk into a bar.
One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response
The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off.
One packet leans to the other and says, "The quality of service here is terrible!"
What's small, and red, and full of holes?
A baby on a bed of nails.
Vote:
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?"
Doctor: "Fifty rupees."
Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?"
Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly."
Patient: "How much is for the operation?"
Doctor: "Rupees on thousand."
Patient: "But it was a serious one."
Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
Two tomatoes are trying to pass the street.
Suddenly, the one screams to the other: "CAR!"
(splash)
"WHERE?"
(splash)
Yo momma’s so ugly, when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours – for a quote!
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
Your Mama's so black, when the cops were shooting at her, the bullets went back for flashlights.
Vote:
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news.
One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping.
A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby.
"Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it.
If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.