Best jokes ever

One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were stuck on an island 100 miles away from civilization. The only way to get home was to swim. The brunette swam 50 miles before drowning. The redhead swam 64 miles before getting attacked by a shark. The blonde went 99 miles but got tried a swam back to the island.
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has 27.66 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, ginger
I came downstairs this morning and my wife asked me what I wanted for breakfast. So I said, ‘Eggs, bacon, fried bread and mushrooms.’ At least that’s what I meant to say. What I actually said was, ‘You’ve ruined my life, you fat ugly witch.’
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has 27.66 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough. Someone started talking about fighting -- 'No, man, I've got to go home.'
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: life, time
In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time, war
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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has 27.61 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor
My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" I accidentally swallowed some WhiteOut last night. Woke up with a massive correction.
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has 27.61 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: doctor, sex, wife
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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has 27.60 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, prison
Where is the best place to hide a nigger's food stamps? Under his work boots.
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has 27.60 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: food, racist, work
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