Best jokes ever

What do you get if you cross a football team and an ice cream? Aston Vanilla.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: sport
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
They presented him with a cup when he was a boxer. It was to keep his teeth in.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: sport
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife. "You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it." "Oh yes dear, what happened ?" "I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks." "Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!! What did you do with them ?" "Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: cop
I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ''He's trying to pull a fast one''.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex? A. They mark the sheep that kick!
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man is walking through a park when he steps in a pile of dog mess. He pauses to wipe his shoe on the grass and sees another man step into the same pile. ‘I just did that,’ says the man, so the other man rubs his nose in it.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards. ‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man. ‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players. ‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
There once was a man who decided to go scuba diving one day. So he went to the deepest part of the beach, got on his gear, and went underwater. He decides to go down 20 feet, and there he sees another guy with no equipment on. The man thought this was strange but we forgot about it and went down another 20 feet. There, he sees the same guy down there with no gear on. But the man decided to forget about it and go down another 20 feet. When he does, he sees the same guy 60 feet underwater with no gear on. Finally the man writes a note asking this guy how he can go so deep underwater without any gear. The guy writes back, ''Because I'm drowning, asshole!''
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: sport
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