Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
What do you call ten lawyers buried up to their necks in the sand?
Football practice.
Q: What do you get when you mix cigarettes with hot water?
A: A soggy butt.
Vote:
I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.
Vote:
What do you call a bunch of niggers in a school bus?
A rotten banana.
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals.
During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.
"How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.
"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.
"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file.
"Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?"
"No sir, our mother."
"Your mother?
You idiot, women don't have penises!"
"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "but she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best as she could."
I came downstairs this morning and my wife asked me what I wanted for breakfast.
So I said, ‘Eggs, bacon, fried bread and mushrooms.’
At least that’s what I meant to say.
What I actually said was, ‘You’ve ruined my life, you fat ugly witch.’
C program run.
C program crash.
C programmer quit.
Men come in three sizes:
Small, medium, and OOoohhh yesss!
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!