My dad is really annoyed, I had the TV on and he accidentally saw the entire football match – he’d just wanted to watch the results on the news.
Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!". After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 blondes.
Yo mama's so fat, when she farted pluto's ice caps melted.
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet. Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.
What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.