How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
1001.....1 to hold the light bulb and 1000 to turn the house.
Vote:
Man returning with his wife from guests.
Drunk man drives car better than his sober wife.
But there is only one problem, how to explain that to the policeman?
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
A local policeman had just finished his shift one cold November evening and was at home with his wife.
"You just won't believe what happened this evening , in all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."
"Oh yes dear, what happened?"
"I came across two guys down by the canal, one of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks."
"Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks!!
What did you do with them?"
"Oh that was easy, I charged one and let the other off."
Q: Why do two skunks argue?
A: Because they like to kick up a stink.
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Q. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A. A blonde parade.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin.
This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it’s dimwit resistant.
There was an old man named Bill, and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred.
Bill's wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game.
But one day he came home from their weekly game looking terrible and very tired.
His wife asked, "What's the matter, Bill?
You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable right now."
Bill said, "Well, something terrible happened.
Fred had a heart attack on the first hole."
"My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him.
"That must've been terrible!"
"It was," he said.
"All day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball, and then hit it again..."