Mrs. Williams: Ok kids let's play soccer
SMACK!
Anna:OW!
Mrs. Williams: What happened Anna?
Anna: Andy punched me!
Mrs. Williams : Why did you punch Anna,Andy?
Andy: You said let's play sock her, so I did.
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.
Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested.
"Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?"
"You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer.
"I'll just put it in my report that she died at the stroke of two."
Vote:
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Yo Mamma's mouth is like a pool table balls go in balls go out she gets paid and there is a new player every day.
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
What does a white chick and a tampon have in common?
They're both stuck up cunts !
Not too long ago, there was a woman who wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone.
She decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore.
After writing the letter, she put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband got home.
When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it.
After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter.
Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.
His wife listened from under the bed as he started chatting to someone.
"Hey babe, I'm just changing clothes then will join you," he said.
"As for the other fool, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!"
Then he hung up and walked out of the room.
In tears and very upset, she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter.
Through teary eyes, she read: "I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread."
How do you hide your money from a mexican?
There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!