Doc, isn't it harmful to drink a shot before eating?
No it's not, if you don't eat too often..
Why are asian people bad at driving?
Because they can't see.
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?"
Doctor: "Fifty rupees."
Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?"
Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly."
Patient: "How much is for the operation?"
Doctor: "Rupees on thousand."
Patient: "But it was a serious one."
Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming?
A: Gulp.
Vote:
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?" asked the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car?
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q. Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A. They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
Q. What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A. 144 blondes.