Q: What is the difference between a puppy and a man? A: Eventually the puppy will grow up and stop whining.
Those poor cops, they put themselves in the line of fire to protect and serve us – yet we make jokes about them. Maybe if so many fat police officers weren’t sitting in a Dunkin Doughnuts writing speeding tickets they’d be left alone.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun? A computer that won’t go down.
How can you tell if a blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.
How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? Two. One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
Sign over a pub bar: ‘Due to the recent water shortage, beer will now be served at full strength.’
A Bosnian catches a goldfish. The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish." The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.
A black african man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bartender says "That's pretty nice where did you get it?" "Africa" the parrot responds.
Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.